Every Saturday,
both Ory MacPhangal Dupont
and LeRoy Woodword Wilson Gizant
would go for a long dog walking jaunt.
Their loving two dogs,
Ralph and Beetle Bizog,
would retreive anything
even a moss covered log.
Well, one day
when Ory and LeRoy were just about five,
though they said they were six
which was a typical lie,
they had taken to throwing things besides a big stick.
They thought it was cool, they thought it was slick.
Old Missus Denise O'Reary Litut was walking along
when Ory and LeRoy busted out their newest song:
"O Missus Litut has a big butt!
O Missus Litut has a big butt"
Well, Missus Denise O'Reary Litut
Has been round a long time
and heard all sorts of stuff,
but was truly offended at these boys taunts
and vowed to somehow alter her jaunts
as not to hear these nasty kind of words
to only smell the sweet flowers and hear
the cute little birds.
She let out a gasp and quickly escaped.
But the boys, well,
they laughed as Litut scooted away.
"Did you see her face turn red?" said the young Dupont.
"Yes, that was funny" replied the younger Gizant.
So, they took their new game to all kinds of extremes.
Calling the Wellsey twins "doodoo breath" as they licked their ice creams
and as the twins went crying away,
LeRoy and Ory continued their foray.
Shouting "ZitFace" at the computer repairman Mr.Wozinack Job
and "Pussbrain" at the groundkeeper Billy Norton Zarob
and unto Miss Lily Lou Reed,
they called her a "Blob!" , a "Slob!", and a "Dweeb!"
As the sun went down, the two boys had vowed
to continue their game tomorrow and make it more loud.
Well, Missus Litut came sauntering by
and LeRoy and Ory let out their cry:
“BigButtBigButtMissusBigButt!”
But, Denise O'Reary did not turn red.
She did not bat an eye.
She did not alter her breath.
You see she had taken to walking with Missus Pilinsky.
They both had on headphones full of Stravinsky.
When Ory and LeRoy found Mr.Zarob
they laid it in thick and they laid it in loud:
“Pussbrain, pussbrain, you are a pussbrain!”
But good old Billy had stuffed his ears full of straw
and heard not a sound,
not the slightest guffaw
which they soon stopped as McLod gave a wave
and Billy started in mowing the overgrown glade.
They attacked Mr. Job, but to no avail.
He'd invented a device that that looked like a nail
sticking out of his head, he stopped to explain
"You shout a word. Before it can get to my brain
this Gizmo converts it to a loving refrain."
The Wellsey twins were wearing muffs with their hats
and Ms.Lou Reed had lots of earwax.
Others who'd heard Ory and LeRoy on the other day's walk
had taken precautions to block out these boy's potty talk.
As the boys realized their game was done,
they heard a sharp sound like the shot of a gun.
They turned around fast and saw a spaceship land
and out of it popped two aliens
who grabbed their dogs with their right 3rd hand.
They boys started screaming as loud as they could,
but no one could hear them. They were as deaf as wood.
It seems like the aliens had come to this park for a lunch,
but forgot to bring something tasty to munch.
After the dogs, they came for the boys
and held them up high like two little toys.
As Ory and LeRoy began their short fall,
Grandma Gizant's wise words were what they'd recall:
“If you don't have something nice to say,
don't say it at all.”
Copyright 2002 GB Hajim
